Sunday, February 28, 2010

Credit Card Disclosure Statement

By statistically qualified estimate,
We are 90.5 percent confident,
With your minimum payments,
We'll be one of the claimants
Attending your last will and testament.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Weather Advisory

Today's limerick has been postponed due to inclement weather.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Overheard at Goldman Sachs

"We assume that you know what you're doing,
In this ill-advised trade you're pursuing,
But the opposite bet
That we place on your debt
May eventually hasten your ruin."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Overheard in Quebec

"It's a comfort, whenever I'm sick,
Zat our système, while not magnifique
Is financially sound, 
Unlike zat to be found 
In l'États-Unis d'Amérique."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Misbegotten Monetary Union

At the hour of the Euro's creation,
To belong was the yen of each nation,
But to meet its constraints,
Some resorted to feints
Of financially flawed derivation.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Who Rates the Raters?

"Credit ratings I don't understand,"
Said a moody young man from Jharkhand,
"Their standards are poor,
And conflicted, I'm sure -
And the outcome seems canned, if not planned."

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Analytical, or Just Political?

That the macro-political element
'S where economists' work is most relevant,
May explain their proclivity
To drop objectivity
And run with the Donkey or Elephant.

(In answer to Sam Costanzo's lament.)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Good News and Bad News

American spirits were buoyed
When the Feds announced fewer unemployed,
But those factory jobs
Sought by uneasy mobs
May have vanished right into the void.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Snow Day at the Fed

'Mid the snowbanks, as Washington slumbered,
Stood Bernanke, by duty encumbered:
"When this credit freeze thaws, 
I'll hike rates, because 
If inflation's back, my days are numbered."

Thanks to Dorothy Lefkovits of San Francisco, CA for the suggestion of snow in DC.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Equestrian Tactics

Greek Finance Minister Papaconstantinou
Says: "The EU did not know what WE knew;
Our deft fiscal ploy
Is as ancient as Troy,
Or at least not in every DEGREE new."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Whose Dollar Is It Anyway?

The august Reserve Bank of Australia
Was to tighten their rates without failure,
When Beijing countered nimbly:
"You're tied to Renminbi -
Your policy tools won't avail ya."

Monday, February 8, 2010

CIT's new CEO

Ex-Merrill head honcho John Thain
Wants a life that is simple and plain:
"At the new CIT,
I'm trading in Wall Street for Main."

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Super Bawl

Said Hank Paulson, with trembling knees,
"Lehman's crisis blew in with the Brees
From the blue like a bolt -
Though I'm no Saint nor Colt,
'Twas un-Manning how credit might freeze."

Friday, February 5, 2010

Eagle and Panda: a Love Duet

"I can't do without your low prices." 
"Of your bonds I've cut extra-large slices." 
"It's wrong, we both know, 
But together we'll go 
Through our sub-prime trade imbalance crisis."

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The New American Dream

The Smiths, of 212 Willow Lane,
Thought their mortgage a terrible strain;
They defaulted and then
Moved next door to 210,
Where they rent, and are solvent a-gain.

(Thanks to Mark Whitehouse of the Wall St. Journal)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Crunch Time in Kiev

When Ukraine, with a dread that was sickening,
Awoke to find bankruptcy beckoning,
They tried to postpone
With an IMF loan
Their day of Malthusian reckoning.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Next Crack-Up

In Greece, Europeans suspect,
May occur the next financial wreck,
And each treasury bureau
Fears the hard-boiled Euro
May become a soufflé à la grecque.

Monday, February 1, 2010

A Mysterious Shiny Object

In forecasting iPad demand,
An analyst became quite unmanned;
"It's no use," he cried,
"I just can't decide:
What IS this cool thing in my hand?"

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