Overheard in the Oval Office

"The sight of the Gulf with this slick in it,
Hits my stomach so hard it may sicken it,
So please get me the name
Of the ass who's to blame
At BP, so that I can be kickin' it."

Overheard at a BP Board Meeting

"Well gents, I hain't got the stomach
To see 'ow far our share price will plummeck
So let's shear off the top
And siphon this glop
Before it seeps up the Potomac."

Rating Agency Hearing

"Triple-A," admits Warren Buffett,
"Is a term one may rightfully scoff at,
But as owner of Moody's,
I'll tell you the beauty's
Their business plan still turns a profit."

Ratings Week II

Said the banker: "My friend, It occurs to me
That you seem just like Standard and Poor's to me;
Though your scruples are real,
In pursuit of a deal
You would give up a wee bit of yours to me."

Ratings Week I

A CDO analyst from Moody's
Confessed: "I've neglected my duties.
We'll soon be downgrading
Some triple-A ratings
When everyone sees that we blew these."  

A New Low

Announced Commerce: "US inflation's
The lowest in two generations."
In recession so deep,
Our labor is cheap,
Which is no cause for wild celebrations.

Intra-European Wealth Transfer

Says Herr Pöhl, ex-Bundesbank president, 
"This bailout's akin to embezzlement. 
Greek tycoons and French banks 
Owe my countrymen thanks 
For this really regrettable precedent."

In too deep?

The story of deepwater drilling
Is laden with dangers quite chilling;
Says BP's Tony Hayward:
"Our safety, though wayward,
Will hereafter get the top billing."

Why Does the Greek Crisis Matter?

Josef Ackermann deftly explained
Why Greece has the markets so strained:
Like a wellhead that leaks,
A default by the Greeks
Could probably not be contained. 

Perfect Game

Wall Street's "too big to fail" titans
Had a quarter so good that it frightens;
On the trading parquet,  
They made money each day -
Is it rigged? Incredulity heightens...

Happy Limerick Day!

The limerick started with Lear,
Who could tell us, if he were still here,
That the soul of good wit
Is to carefully fit
In five lines all one needs to make clear.  

Thanks to Edward Lear, born on this day in 1812, who first popularized the limerick form in his 1846 Book of Nonsense.

Dear Uncle Sam...

Fannie Mae wrote the Treasury a letter
For a bailout that's eight billion better;
Although Fannie and Fred
Were both presumed dead,
It turns out she's quite a bit debtor.

Post Mortem on the Dow's 1000-Point Drop

Said CFTC Chairman Gensler
To Geithner, "Are we among friends, sir?
(I'd like to say how
They whipsawed the Dow,
But I really don't think that I can, sir.)"

Diagnosing the Dow's Dizzy Drop

While coaxing the PIGS from the trough,
Some bankers developed a cough,
Which an I.T. snafu
Turned into swine flu,
And a feverish market sold off.

(Acronym alert: PIGS = Portugal, Italy/Ireland, GREECE and Spain)

Happiness is Just Around the Corner

An economist wanted to teach
What the prophets purported to preach:
With material gains,
Satisfaction remains
Elusively just out of reach.

Thanks to Real Time Economics, for illuminating the economics of happiness through the work of Prof. Richard Easterlin.

Great Financial Crises I: "The Trouble Stops Here"

Among Wall Street's Croesian bosses,  

J.P. Morgan stood tall as Colossus;

He laid down the law  

With the clench of his jaw,  

And the point of his purple proboscis.  


In the 1907 collapse,
Mr. Morgan saved Wall Street perhaps;
He commanded the banks
To pay up and close ranks
With a contract he dropped in their laps.


Before they created the Fed,
Mr. Morgan did not fear to tread;
With an effort titanic
He stemmed a bank panic:
"The trouble stops here," Morgan said.

Greek Debt Crisis, Explained

There are two indisputable facts
That toppled the Greeks on their backs:
Every third Greek today
Works for government pay,
And the rest are evading their tax.

The "Aughts," Rethought

Alan Greenspan had often attested
That inflation at last had been bested,
But his loose money vices
Inflated home prices,
Which a few enjoyed more than the rest did.

Cautionary Comparison

Said Bernanke, "Our debt looks unkempt to me,
And thriftier we must attempt to be,
For a few sidelong peeks
At the Spaniards and Greeks
Show examples that don't seem exemplary."

A Soft Spot in his Heart

Said the IMF head, Dominique:
"While Athens' finances are bleak,
As a good European,
I regard the Aegean
As the cradle of l'Europe Antique."