Charge it Forward

Said the Fed to the banks: "If you please,
Shrink your debit-card interchange fees."
Said the bankers, compliant:
"We'll look to the client
To offset the revenue squeeze."

New, lower federal limits on the interchange fees that banks may charge merchants on debit card transactions have gone into effect; but, like squeezing a balloon, such price controls will often raise prices elsewhere. Accordingly, banks have begun to roll out fees for their customers who use debit cards. First off the starting blocks was Bank of America, which announced a $5 monthly fee, while Chase is testing a debit card fee in selected markets. Other financial institutions such as Citibank and USAA have seized the opportunity to set themselves apart as "no-fee" providers, though experts warn that these banks may burst their customers' bubbles if they find it necessary to charge fees at a later point.

Financial Reform Bill

Now the Senate has passed legislation
To invigorate bank regulation,
But left many a crater
To be filled in later,
As lobbyists learned with elation.   



Reform's really only been bracketed
So Dodd and Frank soon must be back at it,
And the agencies' staff
Write the more-detailed half,
So the lobbyists still get a crack at it.

Ratings Week IV

Barney Frank made a stern ultimatum:
"Bond arrangers and the analysts who rate 'em
Should sever relations
That involve compensation
Since the agencies serve those who pay them."

They'll Live Forever, Won't They?

Barney Frank has explained with assurance
How default swaps defaulted in torrents.
Says Frank: "AIG's
View of poor mortgagees
Was like vampires buying insurance."

Barney Triumphant

"Mark my words," bellowed Congressman Frank,
To each hedge fund, investor and bank,
"When my purview's systemic,
No more risk epidemic
There'll be, and you'll have me to thank."