Trade Deficit Success Story # 32

US researchers, clad in white raiments,  
Became nouveau-riche patent claimants,
With an SUV line
That ran on rice wine,
They went green and re-balanced our payments.

Eureka!

An economist, sure of his talents,
Exclaimed: "I can right the trade balance!
My ingenious invention's
To fund Chinese pensions;
Thus secured, they'll buy Jeeps and Impalas."

Let Them Eat Cake

Ken Feinberg, the government's Pay Czar,
Says, "How wicked our corporate ways are;
They'll end up, I bet,
As Marie Antoinette,
And her mate, King of France Louis Seize, are!"

The Legislative Branch Wants Oversight (or is that Insight?)

The Fed's the economy's watchman,
But now Congress is jealous and wants in.
Says Bernanke, "Your ilk
Would turn up a kilt
To see what girds the loins of the Scotsman!"

War Economics of the Ancient World

His accountess reported to Croesus:
"To raise arms you've a million gold pieces."
Replied Croesus, "I dig your
Callipygian figure;
Now let's subjugate everywhere Greece is!"

Chairman Bernanke's Testimony at his Reconfirmation Hearing

"True, I did not foresee this catastrophe,
But since then I've done all that's been asked of me;
Now, should I take the blame
For Him I'll Not Name,
Whose baton was, four years ago, passed to me?"

How to Prick the Next Asset Bubble

New York Fed Chief William C. Dudley
Has a game plan when prices get bubbly:
Excessive debt funding
Should trigger a plunge in
Advance rates, thus un-bubbling subtly.

Something to Chew On

Of US kids, border to border,
Food stamps now buy the lunch of one quarter.
You may find this obscene,
But that's just the mean;
It's one third in Alaska and Florida.

Bring Back the WPA

Paul Krugman, scratching his chin,

Says: "Let's give Federal hiring a spin.

With a weak private sector

Ill-equipped to correct 'er,

Unemployment is bound to set in."