At the pitches, the pools and the courts,
We turn on the TV,
And ogle their bums in tight shorts.
The Olympian planners of London
Wanted games that were second-to-none done,
But their fear of the crowds
Made the public so cowed
That the tourism hoped-for was undone.
So the public at home safely stayed
For the coverage the TV displayed,
Enthralled by Olympi-
ans Playing in skimpy
Bikinis at Horse Guards Parade.
And so, the world over we witness
These global proponents of fitness,
As, with each golden win,
They give pride to us in
Our American-, Chinese- or Brit-ness.